For all we gain, we must give up something else.

Dreams are funny that way. So are lives.

Most can agree they want what’s best (don’t we all), but that’s where the idea seems to lose clarity.

‘Best’, is, at best, subjective reasoning with a bias towards only seeing favourable outcomes.

To know what’s best, we also need to consider what’s not.

What’s not is hidden from our immediate awareness because, at first, new and exciting means new and exciting.

Take moving into a bustling downtown as an easy example.

It’s new because you’ve never done it before.

It’s exciting because there are people, shops, cafés, lights and shopping centres everywhere.

But…

It’s something you’ll have done once it’s done, so it won’t be new for long.

It’s always loud and bright, especially at night. You’ll soon be too stressed and exhausted to find it exciting.

These are the hidden costs. In this case, we gain amenities and convenience, but we lose our restfulness to constant stimulation and anxiety.

Moving there may have been best for rational reasons, yet the irrational ones were just as present but they were hiding in vanity.

Pick your gains AND losses in harmony with one’s own nature in equal proportion when making any decisions. That way, you can at least know what kind of suffering is ahead and if you can live with it.